Let's see...

I've been referred to as weird, silly, rude, tactless, insensitive, unreasonable, unfair, narrow-minded, immature, and an oaf.  I have taken these comments in stride.  But last night someone called me scary.  That's a first for me and it's really quite disturbing.  For me, being scary is like having a big sign on your forehead that says... Stay away from this person!.  There are still a lot of people who enjoy the company  of weird, silly, tactless, narrow-minded, and immature oafs  (it's true!). Scary, on the other hand, is the sum of all the adjectives I've listed above multiplied by ten and raised to the power of three hundred fifty three million gazillion..  Think about it.. people are usually scared of things that can't be explained.. undefinable.. being scary must then mean that you are so despicable that the only word that can ever describe you is.. well.. scary.  That's scary..

"The Definition of a Gentleman"

by Cardinal Newman

Hence it is that it is almost a definition of a gentleman to say that he is one who never inflicts pain. This description is both refined and, as far as it goes, accurate. He is mainly occupied in merely removing the obstacles which hinder the free and unembarrassed action of those about him; and he concurs with their movements rather than takes the initiative himself. His benefits may be considered as parallel to what are called comforts or conveniences in arrangements of a personal nature; like an easy chair or a good fire, which do their part in dispelling cold and fatigue, though nature provides both means of rest and animal heat without them. The true gentleman in like manner carefully avoids whatever may cause a jar or a jolt in the minds of those with whom he is cast --- all clashing of opinion, or collision of feeling, all restraint, or suspicion, or gloom, or resentment; his great concern being to make every one at his ease and at home. He has his eyes on all his company; he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant, and merciful towards the absurd; he can recollect to whom he is speaking; he guards against unseasonable allusions, or topics which may irritate; he is seldom prominent in conversation, and never wearisome. He makes light of favors while he does them, and seems to be receiving when he is conferring. He never speaks of himself except when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort; he has no ears for slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him, and interprets everything for the best. He is never mean or little in his disputes, never takes unfair advantage, never mistakes personalities or sharp saying for arguments, or insinuates evil which he dare not say out. From a long-sighted prudence, he observes the maxim of the ancient sage, that we should ever conduct ourselves towards our enemy as if he were one day to be our friend. He has too much good sense to be affronted at insults, he is too well employed to remember injuries, and too indolent to bear malice. He is patient, forbearing, and resigned, on philosophical principles; he submits to pain, because it is inevitable, to bereavement, because it is irreparable, and to death, because it is his destiny.

If he engages in controversy of any kind, his disciplined intellect preserves him from the blundering discourtesy of better, perhaps, but less educated minds; who, like blunt weapons, tear and hack instead of cutting clean, who mistake the point in argument, waste their strength on trifles, misconceive their adversary, and leave the question more involved than they find it. He may be right or wrong in his opinion, but he is too clear-headed to be unjust; he is as simple as he is forcible, and as brief as he is decisive. Nowhere shall we find greater candor, consideration, indulgence: he throws himself into the minds of his opponents, he accounts for their mistakes. He knows the weakness of human reason as well as its strength, its province and its limits.

_{Inconsistent adjective
: lacking consistency: as a : not compatible with another fact or claim <inconsistent statements> b : containing incompatible elements <an inconsistent argument> c : incoherent or illogical in thought or actions  d : not satisfiable by the same set of values for the unknowns}


Negative definitions for what is an arguably positive trait.  To be inconsistent is to be free from the fetters of mediocrity.  It is wearing a pink shirt in a sea of grey suits.  It is being organic... able to flow in whichever way one desires.  It is being able to think, speak and act without fear or favour. Inconsistency is our refuge from the tempest of political correctness.

I am a disappointment to many who know me.  That’s their fault.  In my eyes I’m an overachiever twice over.  A cynic thumbing his nose at the world’s optimists. How cool is that!?!

CYNIC, n.  A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.  Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.

-Ambrose Bierce

buddies never meddle in another bloke's life.. friends were created for one purpose --- (actually.. there are two.. but that just weakens my statement... hahaha..) and that's to be, well.. there... good friends never give pep talks or worse, give advice when your down (they probably have no idea what you're going through anyway)... a good buddy knows when to shut up... a good buddy knows that all you need is a good laugh, a nice cold brew or a couch during troubled nights... a good buddy never tries to get you over the hump.. he's simply there... 

the best buddy song ever... 

It's Probably Me
Sting and Eric Clapton

If the night turned cold and the stars looked down
And you hug yourself on the cold cold ground
You wake in the morning in a stranger's coat
No one would you see
You'd ask yourself who'd watch for me
My only friend who could it be
It's hard to say it, I hate to say it
But it's probably me

When your belly's empty and the hunger's so real
And you're too proud to beg and too dumb to steal
You search the city for your only friend
No one would you see
You ask yourself who'd watch for me
A solitary voice to speak out and set me free
I hate to say it, I hate to say it
But it's probably me

You're not the easiest person I ever got to know
And it's hard for us both to let our feelings show
Some would say I should let you go your way
You only make me cry
But if there's one guy, just one guy
Who'd lay down his life for you and die
I hate to say it, I hate to say it
But it's probably me

When the world's gone crazy and it makes no sense
There's only one voice that comes to your defense
The jury's out and your eyes search the room
And one friendly face is all you need to see
And if there's one guy just one guy
Who'd lay down his life for you and die
I hate to say it I hate to say it
But it's probably me

We all have our moments of misanthropy.  In my case, its every other hour.. haha.  Lately though,  I've noticed that I've been having milder episodes and they've become few and far between.. What the hell's going on?!!!  A couple of days ago I actually felt really, really good... happy even..  

Could it be due to my rediscovery of the joys of reading inside the toilet... Is it Lexus' fault for releasing the IS300 here.. my recent road trips?... did paying off my credit card debt cause this?  haha.. maybe.. but not really..   I can't put my finger on it but that's fine by me...